If in fact I die before I wake...Please do the following

One . Make sure I am dead before any cutting of my body occurs. Would hate to wake up half way through the Y incision. Talk about a surprise! Two. Search for any notes leading to my killer ... that is if I am killed you never know I might know them :( I would hate to know my death went unavenged. Cause you didn't know who did me in. Three. When I go in the casket be sure I have some Shoes and proper under garments on . NO! Stupid shoes either and NO! Granny underwear (Go to Victoria's Secret for Christs sake can't see Jesus with holes in my under wear) HAHA Screw you with the Holy underwear!! I would hate to go where ever it is I am going with out shoes and panties . SERIOUSLY!! Don't fuck with me on this one! I will HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU !!! Four. I better not have any roots showing call my sister Lisa to do my hair . Five . I want lots of make up on ... LIKE ALL OF IT !! REALLY ! I need to look good. Be sure I have some lip gloss in the casket with me and a little mirror so I can touch up. Oh! and some black liquid eyeliner and mascara. And spray my favorite perfume on me so I don't stink. Hell! just leave the bottle with me. I will smell great forever !! Especially if I was murdered and the have to exhume me. The people handling my body will Thank You !! Six. I think you guys should come to my viewing ready to drink cocktails ... Open bar for all ... Remember the good times and how Fabulous I was . Don't cry over me in the casket either . You might smear my make up! Talk about how good I look even though I am dead ... You will score brownie points in the after life ... and I WON"T HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU !! Seven. Upon viewing me DON"T I REPEAT DON"T POKE ME OR TOUCH ME IN ANYWAY ! I will know and you might fuck up my hair or something . Then I will be pissed forever!! Eight. I want good music to play at my service not some Church Gospel Shiz!! NO CELINE DION !!! FOR REAL !!! I was thinking more the lines of some Dance music . Maybe more like a Rave !!! YEAH bring your glow sticks ... AND A Disco ball!!! Let's get this party started RIGHT !!! Nine. When you get back to my house to eat something ... Don't throw up in my house . AND DON"T SNOOP THROUGH MY STUFF TRYING TO GET SOMETHING ON ME!!! I threw out all the good stuff anyway ! Won't catch me with some porn in my night stand !!! HAHAHAHA!! SUCKERS ! TEN. Don't cry for me being gone ... If you knew me and were close to me and in my Heart ! You know for the most part I am in a better place . AND I AM WATCHING ALL OF YOU !!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! I SEE ALL!!!!!! NOW I CAN REALLY FUCK WITH ALL OF YOU !!!! WOW ! I AM STOKED ... BETTER take my Sombrero!!! The Funtivities are about to begin!!! In LIFE and DEATH we have come full circle . It's what is in the middle of the circle that counted the most .